Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
