I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Couch. On fire.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
