I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
