I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
