And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
