Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
