new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
