yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
