I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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