Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
