haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
