Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize