i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
