Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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