Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
