i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
