well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize