whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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