singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
