I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
