real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
