That's intense
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
