Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
