I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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