in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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