omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
farters have to be the big spoon...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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