Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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