Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
