Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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