32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
