Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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