Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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