he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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