he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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