New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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