im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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