butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Less talking, more tequila
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
