i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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