He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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