They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
