either way he was missing a nipple.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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