The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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