Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
