I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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