if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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