I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
