so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
