i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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