I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize