Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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