Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
