IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
