Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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