I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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