please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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