Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
