Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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